Roach's folly
by Lt. Jay Chiuraya
Summary: What will happen if Gen. Shepherd inspects the 141's base sooner than they expected? Roach centric. Slightly ooc, kinda boring for a humor oneshot though.


**SUP! How ya doin guys, it's been so long. Im better, but now I'm a busybody with all the piled up work in my absence and recovery. Anyway, I thought of this story when I was brushing my teeth and just tossed the toothpaste back in it's "cell" like a prisoner, so that sparked some ideas...and alot of analogies.**

**ONE-SHOT, SLIGHT OOC. KINDA BORING TOO. Also, I just realized how Mary Sue my story "Answering the call of duty" is. So it's either I delete it, or revise, permanently on hiatus, or whatever. PM me if you want to decide.**

**DISCLAIMER: I only own the plot, not the game nor any of its franchise. Everything else belongs to Infinity Ward**

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Roach groggily woke up to the sound of Ghost's yelling in the corridor. He glanced at the calendar. It's a Saturday, 'We don't do anything on Saturdays... Ghost must be training us again...' He thought, as he remembers the almost failed mission this week. He slid his feet in his boots, and combed his hair with his hand, too lazy to groom and comb his naturally spiky hair. He left the room still rubbing out the sleep in his eyes.

Other soldiers are coming out of their rooms and headed for the assembly area and properly lined up there by height in line and in order.

Ghost was waiting for them in front, mask on and all. He seemed tidier than usual...which is almost impossible because he ALWAYS is tidy. "Alright men, you must be wondering why I woke you up early on a lovely Saturday morning, well that's because the General called, he would be doing an inspection today. Which means you have to be organized, neat, tidy and sober unless you want to beg for your mothers the whole month surviving in the swamp areas like the maggots you are. You will eat AFTER the inspection so the chefs don't have to clean the dishes while Shepherd inspects . Clean up and report back here in an hour. Dismissed."

Ghost waves them away and they briskly walk back to their rooms, frantically tossing trash and laundry hear and there trying to clean the dump they somehow managed to make.

Roach just stood there, thinking about how he will clean this up. His room looks as if a tornado just passed by. Shirts here, boxers there, trash everywhere. He decided he should take a bath and brush his teeth, since it's been 3 days the last time he did so. As he walked to the bathroom, he saw Archer and Toad running around with cleaning supplies. Chemo and Ozone mopping the floor, and Meat and Roy- 'Wow they look so scruffy' Royce is the only one sweeping the floor while Meat just dozed off with... money in his hand? Perhaps Meat won a bet again. Roach just sighed and entered the bathroom. Grabbing a towel from a cabinet, he went to the shower room and let the water soothe his tired muscles. He lathered his hair and body, rinsing a few minutes later. He wrapped the towel around his waist. And headed for the sink.

He just stared at his reflection. His eyes have a _very_ dark ring around it, a goatee decorating his chin, and he had healing scratches here and there. Overall he looked beat and dead tired, but that was normal for almost everyone in the 141 with the high rate of missions every week. He opened the hygiene cabinet the mirror's attached to and fetched his toothbrush and that new government-issued toothpaste rumored to smell like minty bananas. It's brandless too, but it has a metal tube instead of the typical plastic ones. Roach saw small text engraved at the tip of the tube, it read: "Made from recycled metal, dispose properly"...

"So the container of the toothpaste came from the landfill? EUGH" Roach complained. "Better hurry up and use it laddie, Shepherd can come here any minute." Reminded Mactavish, he has a damp towel wrapped around his waist and his mohawk messy on his head. "Yes, sir. But why now? Shepherd usually informs us of the inspection around 2 days before he actually arrives." "I don't know either, which is why you should clean up now, you room is STILL a mess." Said the captain walking away. "Aye, sir..." sighed Roach.

He squeezed the tube, but nothing came out. He peeked in, only to find the tube only has 30% paste but 70% air. "This is ridiculous" he squeezed harder, until Roach realized something. This is just like interrogating prisoners.  
He squeezed harder, _punishing his captive more severely.  
_He applied more pressure until the white gel appears in the small opening, _his captive giving in bit by bit_.  
He gave it all he's got, rolling the tube in the process, the white paste slowly progressing toward his toothbrush, _his captive breaking slowly._  
Until finally the white gel bursted out of the tube, satisfyingly filling the surface of his toothbrush, _the prisoner totally caving in, spilling out all the intel he knows, all the plans, all the gameplay, all the people involved. Everything.__  
_

He threw the toothpaste back in the cabinet forcefully, victorious._ His prisoner thrown back in his cage, hard, until further questioning._

Roach is VERY proud of himself, smiling naturally while brushing his teeth, complimenting himself in his head over and over. Until he realized it took him 15 minutes to just get the paste onto his brush. He hurriedly brushed and eventually his gums bled. He spat, rinsed and spat again and returned the brush in his cabinet.

He jogged to his room clinging to his towel, not wanting it to fall down like last time in front of his Captain and Meat and Royce. Oh the embarrassment he felt. He shook the memory away, no time to think about that. No no. He practically crashed toward the door to his room. He twisted he doorknob, and it almost broke, it's base uprooted from the door. But Roach didn't care, he trudged forward his trash fortress, headed for his dresser and reached for his clothes, and put them on. Right after, he grabbed the broom and swept. And swept. And swept. He piled them all in the dustpan and put the dust bunnies in their rightful place, the trash can. He didn't have time to mop, but the place looks clean enough. OH.

He forgot to hide the porn mags. He grabbed them and was dashing to the other side of the room.

And the door opened, a familiar skull pattern appearing in his peripheral.

"Roach, you're late, I said report to the-" Silence dawned on them, Roach is clearly shivering, his left hand is holding something behind him, and eyes as wide as plates. "Roach... turn around." he did so. "Roach, what is that in your hand?". Roach trembled. "Uh-erm, sports magazine sir." he bluffed. "Is that so? May I see that then?" "Naw sir, it's um... it's outdated, sir..." "Is that so? Then let me have some piece of history, eh? Gimme." "But sir-" Despite Roach's protest, the magazines were snatched right out of Roach's hands. He is **SO** screwed...

Ghost silently scanned the cover, then the pages of each magazine. "Where are the sports cars? The scoreboards? The _Football_ teams?" The last sentence said by Ghost had such a threatening ring to it, Roach was sure he was going to crap his pants eternally even after kingdom come.**  
**

"This is not a sports magazine, mate... Do you have ANY idea how much trouble you would give us officers if Shepherd sees thi- SCREW IT! Bury them, or hide them! ANYWHERE! In the warehouse, just throw it in there. GO! Shepherd is gonna arrive in ANY minute, and I swear to God I will have your head by the end of this month. GO! NOW !"

And Roach ran, and ran, until he reached the warehouse. He slid the book between the hinges of the door, since it was locked. He sprinted to the assembly area to find Ghost already reporting to the newly-arrived general. Ghost stole a quick glance at the young sergeant. Ghost is doing something behind his back... a handsign... A handsign to hide! But where? _`Shepherd will obviously look in the rooms. Lockers, nope. Gym nope, canteen nope... Rec room? Nah. Warehouse... it's locked... OH The backdoor!'_

He jumped from cover to cover. Silent as a feather, he tread toward the back entrance of the warehouse. He went inside and sat on a dusty box waiting. He wondered what Ghost was saying to Shepherd about his absence. He found himself slowly falling asleep, until his head rested uncomfortably on his chest.

Later that day, Gen. Shepherd was convinced that Roach was given temporary leave for family reasons, despite not receiving any formal paperwork. They were dismissed without issue and Ghost, instead of going back to his room, vhecked the warehouse. The front door was locked, and the back door was wide open.

He found a hunched figure sitting limply on a box, deep breaths are heard from the figure. "Roach, Shepherd's gone. Mate?" No response. "Mate?" He approached slowly and shoock his shoulder. Roach's head lolled to the side and Ghost can see the glossy sheen of drool, dripping from the mouth to his chin. Ghost remembered how tired Roach was the previous days, and he noted the dark bags under his eyes. He shrugged and left.

_4 hours later~_

A flash emanated from the warehouse, followed by another. A muffled giggle is heard. roach groggily opened his eyes to find Royce and Meat staring at him, camera in hand.

"Sleepin' Beauty's finally awake!"

_Oh snap..._

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**Note: Meat and Royce are gonna blackmail Roach. **

**Whelp, that sucks, too long and too boring. I am soo sorry. I have the sniffles, and it's annoying. I can't help but look back and see how fragile my Immunity System is xD oh well, I am thinking of writing stuff now, oneshots or drabbles. When I have the time**_. _**Anyway, baiiii!**


End file.
